An Evening in Confidence
by McQuirk
Summary: Feeling a little overwhelmed and lost, Jason moves to Florida after the Peace Conference. It's after the Pan Global Games, and Kim has been trying to get a hold of Jason for weeks. She visits him unexpectedly to get answers. Will he be honest with her? Or does Kim have demons of her own to reveal?
1. Chapter 1

"Knock, knock."

A jacket-clad, rosy-cheeked Kim was standing in the door way of his already cramped bedroom.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Jason had just gotten out of the shower and was currently sitting on the edge of his bed in a pair of sweatpants. He hardly ever had any company in his hole-in-the-wall apartment and was least of all expecting Kim.

Then again, it would be Kim, Jason thought darkly.

"Is that any way to greet your favorite pink ranger?" Kim flashed a half grin, but her eyes remained tight, uncertain. After a moment, she fully stepped in and said, "Your door was unlocked."

His face quickly rearranged from anger to surprise. He needed to be more careful. Juggling a day job, online classes, and a constant state of bereavement was finally showing.

"I'm not surprised, either. You look like shit." Kim seemed more comfortable after Jason's face lost its icy touch. "You do know trash goes inside the trash can, yes?"

"Thanks. You always know how to cheer up a guy." Jason gave a tired, wry smile. He immediately regretted showing his fatigue.

Kim was all business now. "Jason, when was the last time you slept?"

"This morning." _For about an hour_.

"Bullshit."

"How's Tommy?"

"Don't you go changing the subject." Kim was standing over him now. He could smell the rain on her jacket and her perfume. "When did it become a good idea to ignore my phone calls? Just because I'm up to my neck with my mom visiting doesn't mean I can't tell you're being distant. No, don't give me that look Jason Lee Scott! I know you better than anyone, and I can tell that you want to reach out, but you're just too afraid to. "

A muscle in his jaw twitched. He was now uncomfortably aware of his bare chest. He lost some muscle since his Power Ranger days. Suddenly he viewed the situation in his mind's eye. Kim startled him in his own bedroom, wet from rain, while he was sitting half-naked on his bed. All five feet of her stood in front of him in anger, claiming that he was distancing himself from his closest friends and that meant that he was trying to figure out how to ask for help. How could she possibly know why he kept to himself? They hadn't talked in ages, and not the everyday conversation stuff, really talked, not since they were power rangers, not since he left for Switzerland. They were already miles apart. His brain felt fuzzy as it sorted out thoughts and fragments from the last few years. Sleep was coming now, he could feel it.

Jason met Kim's challenging stare and leaned back on his elbows. "If I really was trying to avoid you guys, I would have moved somewhere no one could find me, and if I secretly wanted to reach out, I would have moved back home, not here where you're up to your neck with gymnastics and your mom and dealing with your long-distance—"

"Stop. Just stop. This isn't about me." Jason noticed a slight edge to Kim's voice, but then again he could have imagined it in his sleep-deprived state.

"Sure it is. It's about how you're over-analyzing my decisions and not respecting my space." With raised eyebrows, Jason puffed out his cheeks and plopped backwards onto the bed. He optimistically hoped she would leave it at that and leave him alone.

Kim's face softened but Jason did not notice. She silently removed her jacket, hung it on the door, and eased onto the bed. She reached out to brush hair away from his forehead. At her touch, Jason gave a start.

"Come on, JJ... it's me. It's Kimmy. I know something's going on in there," she lightly tapped his temple, "and I have a feeling that you're hurting and you don't know what to do."

"Don't pull that 'JJ' crap on me."

"I'm serious, Jase."

"Well, so am I."

"Ok, then _seriously_ tell me why you're not still in Switzerland or Europe, at least, with Zach and Trini. Can't you have space there?"

"I don't want to get into it. I'm really tired and look like shit apparently. Actually, you know what," Jason perked up a bit, "I'll tell you if you seriously tell me how Tommy's doing."

He really did not know why it was important to know how Tommy was doing in that moment. Maybe a darker part of him wanted to know how Tommy was handling leadership with the Rangers and hoped he was failing. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Kim's hand rested on his bare shoulder. Bringing Tommy up should warn her off.

"He's doing fine. He's holding up being leader and all, if that's what you're asking. And by that I mean I know that's what you're asking. Your turn." Kim patted his chest. Jason couldn't help but flinch a little. He was sure Tommy's eyes were watching behind some camera in his bedroom.

"When did you get self-conscious, Jase?" _Great, she noticed._ Kim smiled a small smile.

"If Tommy flies across the country, it should be to see you, not to beat my ass." His tone was joking, but Jason was perpetually aware that he and Kim were incredibly close—their relationship had been misconstrued as romantic on more than one occasion. He naturally was on guard without Tommy around. Kim's smile faded.

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about that."

Jason sat up to look at Kim more carefully. "You split up?"

"Yeah actually. Right around the Pan Globals. Jason, I didn't come here to talk about my nonexistent long-distance relationship."

"I…yeah…fuck. I thought you guys were gonna make it through. You're like the model couple."

"In some ways, yeah I guess. Some things just don't work out."

Since the idea of Tommy trekking 3,000 miles to beat him to a pulp was no longer a threat, Jason felt more vulnerable. Kim gazed at Jason expectantly. She was done talking about Tommy.

"Um… so my turn, huh?" Kim nodded. "Well I…" He was still processing the break-up. He was sure that was half the reason for her sudden social call. Nonetheless, Jason genuinely did not want Kim psychoanalyzing the last three years of his life, nor did he want to think about the feelings of shame and inadequacy that overwhelmed him when Zordon made Tommy the new leader of the rangers. Kim assumed she knew him? If anyone knew him, they would have interpreted his enthusiasm for Tommy as a front.

"I just thought it was a unique opportunity, going to the Peace Conference." Jason's mind blanked._That's not why you moved halfway across the planet_. He scrambled for the next mounting idea and reached at the twinge at the back of his head. "I just thought…we weren't going to be Power Rangers forever, you know? I mean, our experience was already a unique one, but who else knew about it but us? It all boils down to the desire to have a meaningful, formative experience that I didn't have to hide from the world." Jason half-hearted answer surprised even him. "Anyway, it's a lot harder to pass off fighting monster attacks as getting sick when you have a real job. No one's going to believe a weekly emergency."

An eyebrow quirk was the only part of Kim's face that changed. "Who knew going to the Peace Conference would make you wise beyond your years? I still think you're BS-ing, but you are making a lot of sense. I don't think I'd want to be a Power Ranger now, either. Gymnastics was always my thing, obviously," she ended with a wave of her hand.

"I think I'm not sure whether diplomacy is my thing, I guess," Jason involuntarily surmised.

"Yeah, it seems more like something Trini would do. That has Trini written all over it. Jase," with a pause and a shift on the hard mattress, "everyone expected you to open your own dojo with Tommy or something." She winced when Tommy's name tumbled out of her mouth.

"Yeah. That could still happen. It's not like I'm forty-five with a pot belly." He ignored her mention of Tommy.

They stewed in silence. After some delay, Kim slyly glanced over at Jason. "I thought you went to Switzerland because you couldn't be without Trini."

From out of Jason's mouth escaped a breathy laugh. "Trini? Really? Sure she's pretty, intelligent, graceful…but I've never loved someone enough to uproot my life to be with her." He hoped his overly certain tone slipped past Kim's hawk-like attention. It's true, he had other pressing reasons and emotions that drove him away from home, but Trini alone would have motivated him to skim the application anyway. He was sure that, if he had let it, a relationship could have blossomed between them. It was such an intimate experience, not unlike being Power Rangers, in that Peace Conference attendees spent most days together. Of course, the country hopping, cross-country skiing, and late nights preparing speeches were without stressful life-or-death decisions and deadly, magical monsters. The thought of losing Trini's friendship in the event of a break-up drove him to avoid the risk. This particular sentiment led to the very thing he feared most, however.

"She would be perfect for you, though."

"You think a lot of things."

"I'm just saying," Kim raised her eyebrows emphatically, which unwittingly called attention to the circles under her eyes, and added "she was ecstatic that you and Zach were going too, but especially you."

Jason hated it when Kim was in one these moods. He had enough. "I know you like to play match-maker, _Kimmy_, but I'm not going to talk about a _nonexistent_ long-distance relationship."

"Okay, okay, jeez. No need to get sassy." Kim glanced out the window with a deep sigh." My mom's going to string me by the neck if I don't get back soon. I better go. You better answer me when I call you." Kim glared at Jason as she pecked him on the cheek. He watched her slip on her jacket and walked with her to the door.

With a parting look, Kim deadpanned, "This isn't the last you'll see of me," and retreated down the hall.

"I don't doubt it," Jason muttered regretfully as he locked the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Note:<strong> I fully intended to write a one-shot, but it feels like there's more to explore. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Kim drove back to her apartment feeling two emotions: nostalgia and helplessness. She had not seen Jason since the Pan Global Games, and before that, high school. It was a bit of a shock to see her childhood friend and confidante stowed away in that cheerless apartment. She missed their late night talks. She could go to Jason with anything and he would know what to say to make her feel normal again. Making Jason leader of the Power Rangers was a no-brainer.

While she felt nostalgic about her childhood friend and her incomparable high school experience, Kim felt equal parts helpless. He refused to let her in for whatever reason. Couldn't he see that shutting himself off was unhealthy? She could tell that he was exhausted though, and knew he was humoring her. When Jason raises his hackles, though, it's time to go.

To be honest, she hoped she could break through Jason's dense skull so he could do his big brother routine and help her sort through the mess with Tommy. She made a mistake with sending him that letter. Who does that? It was such a bitchy thing to do. She just did not know how to tell him that a long-distance relationship was stressful, that it was hard entrusting her heart to someone on a different coast, that she was constantly worrying about gymnastics training, that her coach was kind of mean, that she battled anorexia, that her teammates were catty, that it was hard to follow her dreams…that she was lonely.

A real relationship is not made up of phone calls, texts, and emails. Oh, and watching each other on TV. _I got the shorter end of the stick there_. Tommy could watch her progress in competitions, while Kim was watching to see if he made the next monster attack out alive.

At the same time, how could she blame him? She knew the consequences of being a Power Ranger.

_I just wish he could be here with me, too_, Kim thought. It would have meant the world to her if he could have seen her at the Pan Global Games in person.

Her thoughts made their way back to Jason. He made it to Florida in time to see her win second place. It's true, it was a pleasant surprise, but she couldn't keep away the ugly, swarming feelings that assaulted her after. _Why couldn't it be Tommy?_

Trini was a Godsend throughout her training. It was like having an angel on her shoulder saying everything was going to be okay. Trini had the unique ability to funnel her calm spirits across the wireless signals.

Still, as she realized before, phone calls, texts, and emails were no substitute for any sort of relationship. She missed her best friend dearly and knew Trini felt the same.

Kim felt like she was partially returning the favor when Trini revealed her feelings for Jason.

_"__Kim. I think…I think I have feelings for Jason."_

_"__I knew it, I _knew_ it!"_

_"__Kim, not so loud," Trini hissed. "I don't want anyone else overhearing."_

_"__Relax, Trini. No one's going to hear, silly."_

_"__I know, but just in case. You can never be too careful."_

_Kim was sure Trini felt her eye roll across the ocean._

_"__I've been waiting months—no, years—for this to happen. You don't know how happy I am for—"_

_"__Kim! It's not like he proposed to me or anything!"_

_"__Yeah, yeah. But you honestly can't tell me that you haven't thought about it."_

_There was a pregnant pause._

_"__Hah! So you have thought about it!"_

_"__Kim! The walls here are thin." Trini begged. Then muttered, "That would be a dream come true."_

_"__What? I didn't catch that."_

_"__Nothing…I just…can you tell me what to do? Should I-" loud static assaulted Kim's ear as Trini breathed sharply into it. "-should I ask him out on a date?" Trini's voice ended in a squeak._

_"__Not yet. Knowing Jason, he has no clue you lo—like him. You've got to…"_

Kim spent the rest of the conversation telling Trini that she needed to spend one-on-one time with Jason, but not on an official date, and that she should try more hairstyles, maybe even slip in a little red clothing.

It was difficult to truly gauge the situation, though, and Jason was already acting a little distant towards Kim. She couldn't figure out what he was feeling, exactly, and Trini begged Kim not to get Zach involved. Two months later, Trini called, howling in tears, saying how she was stupid and never should have entertained the idea of being with Jason.

Trini stopped talking about Jason after that.

Kim also found it hard to lay all of her problems on Trini after that phone call.

_Everyone's emotionally unavailable at the moment_, Kim mused.

As her apartment complex came into view, Kim tried to appear more cheerful. Her mom would complain about her burgeoning wrinkles and frown lines, pointing out that the sooner she stopped crying over Tommy, the sooner she could focus on achieving her goals.

Kim let the car—and her mind—idle for a few minutes before heading inside. Her mom said she was going to whip up a surprise for dinner.

"Hi, Mom. What'd you end up fixing?" Mrs. Hart was placing a salad bowl on the table as Kim shut the door behind her.

"Oh, hi, sweetie, I put together a tomato salad with egg and goat cheese—that's right here—and there's brown and wild rice, some veggies, and lastly, a nice, hot consommé." She gestured with pride to the last bowl on the table. It looked like broth. "It cools down quickly, so we'll have to start dinner soon."

Kim hardly missed a beat as she shrugged out of her jacket and joined her mother at the table. She wasn't surprised that the meal was almost vegetarian. Her mother knew she needed to keep at the same weight and eat healthily. The Pan Global Games might be over, but she had a good shot at the Olympics, or so her coach said.

"Looks good, mom."

Reaching for a helping of the tomato salad, her mother said, "So tell me, how is Jason?"

"He's doing the same. He's still in the same apartment and I'm guessing he's still taking online classes and doing some construction work I think." Kim grabbed a plate.

"You think? Did you not just visit him?" A judgmental tone crept into her voice.

"Yeah, but we didn't talk about stuff like that—"

"What did you talk about then? I hope you didn't trouble the boy about Tommy."

Kim blinked slowly, taking a bite of food. "No, mom. I didn't trouble him about Tommy."

"Honestly, I don't know how you decided to have a long-distance relationship with training."

Kim's shoulders slumped slightly. "I guess I had to learn the hard way." Kim knew she loved gymnastics and she wanted it to be a part of her life for as long as she was able, but she didn't want it to completely take over her life. She wanted love, too. But Tommy was a Power Ranger, and that took over his life. It left little room for Kimberly.

"Oh, don't look like that, Kim. I didn't mean to hit a nerve."

"I know, it's okay," Kim said in a clipped voice.

Mrs. Hart's gaze lingered on Kim a while before she launched into the topics of training schedules, upcoming invitationals, the glutes of male gymnasts (Kim shook her head at this), European fashion trends, and her French boyfriend.

"Wait, what?"

"…Well, yes. I've met someone, honey. I didn't want to tell you too soon because of, well you know. I guess it slipped out." The older Hart glanced around nervously.

Huh. That explained the fancy broth.

"That's okay. What's he like?" Perhaps hearing about her mom's boyfriend could take her mind off things. She let her mind get lost in her mother's voice.

After dinner, Kim retired to her room early. Hearing about Aurelian did not help clear her mind. With every nice gesture made by Aurelian, Kim was reminded of Tommy. It was quite painful, but her mom became bubbly and giddy thinking about him.

_I need to get out or something._ There was no doubt that Mrs. Hart was overbearing. Kim knew she had good intentions, but it was suffocating at times. Almost all the time.

Powerless. She was powerless. She was unable to help her friends when they needed her, she cracked under the pressure of elite gymnastics training, she was unsuccessful in maturely dealing with her long-distance relationship, and she was incapable of having a healthy relationship with her mother.

No matter where she turned, the people closest to her either were not in a position to help, or were thousands of miles away.

Maybe she would give Trini a call tomorrow. Kim avoided calling Trini if she could help it because she started a time-consuming internship. Kim would have to be careful not to mention Jason, of course, but a nice, long girl talk was definitely in order.

_Yeah, I'll call Trini first thing after practice. She should be done with her internship for the day by then. _

Convinced she had done all she could do for herself, Kim changed into PJs and slid under her bed covers.

xxxxx

That night, she dreamed of a white figure, hand outstretched and grasping, careening down a bottomless pit.

* * *

><p><strong>Note:<strong> As you can tell, this is no longer a one-shot. I wasn't sure if I could write anything longer than the first chapter, but I'm curious to see where this goes, too. Also, I'm currently looking for a beta reader, so if you are interested PM me.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Jason woke up the next morning thinking about his surprise visit from Kim. He was sure that her abrupt exit was a sign that she couldn't get through to him. While he was mostly annoyed that she barged in on his life like that, he was glad to see her again. Being next to her, having her fingertips rest on his shoulder, feeling her lips brush his cheek…made it glaringly clear that he was lonely. When was the last time he embraced someone close?

_Probably when I said goodbye to Trini and Zach at the airport. Ugh…_

The memory brought out unpleasant feelings, so Jason stopped thinking about Trini and how he went for a hug and she awkwardly stabbed his ribs in a handshake attempt.

_Ugh…_

Jason reddened when he realized that thinking about Kim's lips led him to thoughts on his gray-area-relationship with Trini. With a mental shake, he rolled over in bed and let himself process the situation. He could not believe that two of his close friends had broken up. Is there anything that can go _right_? It dawned on Jason that he would have to crawl out of his mental hole and do something soon. Kim didn't have any of her close friends with her in Florida until Jason flew in four months ago. A close friend…more like a shitty friend. He clearly was too wrapped up in his own problems to see signs of her break-up.

Jason flew in just in time to catch her final few practices. She seemed to be in tip-top shape, focused, and in tune with her mind, body and goals. He could easily see her winning the Pan Globals and/or going to the Olympics. Kim was completely ecstatic that Jason was able to see her perform, and he was the second person she hugged after winning the silver medal, her mom being the first. If there were any shadows that crossed Kim's face or any indication that something was wrong with her life, Jason chalked it up to her second place win. Jason slipped on a shirt and shuffled to the kitchenette to grab something to eat.

_Kim was always a good sport, though, and wouldn't let second place bring her down that much._ Jason shook his head.

Toast, it is.

Jason thought back to Kim and Tommy's relationship. It was basically love at first sight. It was sickeningly sweet, and Jason was a little bit afraid that Kim was rushing into the relationship. Despite his qualms, Jason tried to be objective and not interfere too much with Kim's love life, though it was challenging since Tommy was his martial arts equivalent. Then there was the bit when Tommy went through a lot to overcome his I'm-a-minion-of-Rita status, was inducted into the Power Rangers team, and finally could be in Kim's life with no secrets.

Jason tried to pinpoint the turning point in their relationship. Having a significant other on the team seemed to be a lot like dating a coworker. The relationship popped up in the middle of battles, and from what Jason could tell, Kim and Tommy fussed over each other a lot during school. Their relationship was hammered and stretched in ways relationships probably should not, and undoubtedly border-lined unhealthy. All the Rangers had to lean on each other because…well they were basically child soldiers trying to get through high school, but Kim and Tommy almost completely supported each other.

_Their relationship was a balance beam, and Tommy kept Kim on it_, Jason chuckled darkly.

He sobered up as he realized that the analogy of their break up was Kim falling off the beam.

Jason did not want to think about what Tommy was going through. Kim brought him out of the depths of self-deprecation and insecurity after he was the evil green ranger. Even though their relationship walked the line of codependency, they were very much in love and made each other stronger. After all, love is like a good drug, right? The more Jason thought about it, the more their love made sense. It was one of the only things that made sense in the senseless alien attacks on Angel Grove as well as their lives.

Jason needed to have a nice long chat with Kim at some point. And then an even longer one with Tommy. It was completely out of character for them to break up.

He questioned why it was so easy for him to think about the love between Kim and Tommy when he could not act on his feelings for Trini. Neither of them had Power Ranger duties, so what was the problem?

Perhaps it was because their…whatever you want to call it…had no definition. Kim and Tommy's relationship would always be defined by their time as Power Rangers, gymnastics, and martial arts. Peace defined Trini. And Jason? He no longer had an identity as a Power Ranger. He had no identity in Florida. In Switzerland, learning about diplomacy was intellectually stimulating, but he couldn't do that for the rest of his life. Not after meeting a centuries-old being named Zordon, interacting with a sentient robot, and being leader of the Power Rangers—though it did not feel right fully claiming that last part.

Yes, world peace seemed less of a priority when there were intergalactic threats to Earth.

On a similar, less cosmic note, it upset Jason that Kim was going through the break-up alone. Tommy at least had the other Rangers. Kim's mother wasn't much help, no doubt. She thought Kim could do a lot better than Tommy.

Jason idly wondered if Mrs. Hart was still with Kim because of the break-up. Was it something else? Surely Kim wouldn't keep her mom around for emotional support? Mrs. Hart most likely would not stay with Kim over a boy. Right?

_Let's be honest: it was Kim who did the dumping_. But why? Stress? Isolation? She just isolated herself further when she basically cut ties with the West Coast.

Jason shook his head again. He was normally in touch with his friends and teammates. They knew everything about each other. Even when they were oceans away, he made an effort to video call them, email them, and send them random gifts. After maybe two years, he eased up on the communication. He told himself that he didn't need to talk to them that much since their lives were becoming routine and their conversations predictable. With Jason, Trini, and Zach, their updates consisted of "We're attending a lecture with the president or prime minister of so and so," or "Guess what? This weekend we're taking a trip to some awesome exotic place!" Kim always had news of new training facilities, meeting the top gymnasts of the nation, or conquering an event at a regional meet. With Tommy, it was always "Duuude! You'll never believe the monster that Zedd/Rita's family member/some other villain cooked up!"

Honestly, the number of villains that replaced Rita was comical.

_I must be crazy. I'm laughing at monsters and villains that have put my nearest and dearest friends in life-or-death situations. _

Jason could not believe the mounting threats directed toward the little blue planet. There was always someone bigger, more evil, armed with more lethal weapons, fortified with a more demented philosophy, and connected to a web of power-hungry crusaders. It was a wonder that Earth was not a ball of fire already, or that humans were not a slave-race. Epic forces would always endanger his friends, his relationships, his hometown. Jason usually felt disjointed when he thought about his former double-life. Many choices he made felt laughably incomparable. Dinner with the parents or saving the world?

He, Trini, Zach and Kim got out of that life only to condemn other teens in their place. When Jason agreed to attend the Peace Conference, he did not realize that he would be replaced. Somehow, he thought that Zordon would call in some space rangers to Earth to take over the Power Coins. Professionals, not kids.

Jason felt a wave of resentment he was unaware he could produce.

He was powerless, literally and figuratively. He was in his element as leader of the Power Rangers. To go back to a normal civilian life was difficult. Dealing with things like burgeoning love, break-ups, school, and peace conferences was difficult. How could he live a normal life knowing that everything he held dear was teetering on the edge of destruction? Jason sighed.

You can never truly leave the life of a Power Ranger. That shit does not go away.

Laughing mirthlessly, Jason applauded himself for making himself feel shittier than before.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, jolting him out of his brooding.

Jason contemplated ignoring the call, but remembering his conversation with Kim last night, he checked the caller ID. It was Kim. She was calling so soon?

"Hello?"

"Jason! You answered you phone! What a surprise."

"Yeah, I figured you'd break my door down if I didn't answer."

"Damn straight. So how about lunch? You hungry? I'm really craving sushi. Don't tell my mom. I already ate out three days ago."

Pause.

"Uh, what? Uhh… you're really good at springing things on people, you know that?"

"Come on, Jase. My treat!"

Kim sounded so chipper. Or was it desperation he heard?

"Okay, okay. I'll go. What time do you want to meet?"

"Gosh, don't sound so glum at a free meal. How about in an hour?

"Okay. Where is it?"

"In the strip mall on Florida Main Street. You can't miss it. See ya then!"

Click.

"Ok—oh." He forgot how phone conversations with Kim could go sometimes.

That was unexpected. Jason stared at his phone. _Dammit, now I have to get dressed for real._ It was the weekend, and he wanted to lounge and brood and do nothing all day.

_Well, I can't feel any worse today, right?_

* * *

><p>Please review!<p> 


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